i got new shoes.

i love everyone here so much. home was nice, but nothing can compare to the good ol' comstock.

driving around on my last day in town listening to hvarf/heim. it felt clear, it felt bright.

everything turned out fine.

& i finally won mario party today, go me!

SELF-SABOTAGE,

even my horoscope confirmed it.

get me the hell out of here!

OH MY GOD I AM SO EXCITED TO START PHOTO NEXT WEEK.

i have so many images inside my head and i want nothing more than to learn how to create them.

i'm starting to go crazy at home, it has been long enough. i am starting to forget how people's faces move when they talk, i'm starting to forget their expressions and i don't want to do that. i need to be in an active environment.

my brother is going to court. great.

i'm learning to fully appreciate the silence and the beauty and the slow pace.

i'm just wanting to remember.

i haven't cried in a movie theatre in a long time. today that changed.

http://www.trojungbrannen.com/

hung out with those dudes today. it was fucking terrific to spend the day talking about windows and sidewalks and skyscrapers. the offices and location were perfect (i could see the ICA/harbor). dream job? yes. possible actual job? i think so. i'm going to steve's house (vice prez) next week and we are going to a site. i get to wear a hard hat. being around old people all day was weird, i felt grown up.

i want someone to have a crush on me. thank you.

i need cash.

i'm going to sell all of my buffy dvd's.

blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazed.

haven't moved in 3 hrs.

drugs drugs drugs.

i need new ink!

feeling distant/separated/not up to par. the internetz is sucking out my soul, i need to break away. too much time spent alone in my room, talking to myself. going crazy going insane. i cut my hair too short, it looks dumb. still can't breathe through my nose. lost lost lost is the best way to put it. time for a change of location. time for a change of mind. lighten up, dude. stop thinking so much, it's not healthy.

i need to be in a bigger place. i need new sights and sounds. I WANT TO OVERWHELM MY SENSES.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO BACK TO SMITH AND START CLASSES AND MAKE LOTS OF ART. but i have to do this shit for my internship, so i can't really complain about being stuck here. my body hates me, my head feels like it is going to implode. the thunder outside is really loud, but i like the sound of the rain. i am watching the entire season of heroes right now, i wish i could actually move and do something productive, but i guess i really shouldn't be complaining. things are going to be different this time, i'm sure of it.

mountain climbing is my thing. my cold got worse, ick. i need to stop thinking about certain things. they really don't matter that much. i get to hang out with a bunch of old architect dudes tomorrow. and hopefully DORY. i'm pretty okay with my grades, i almost cried when i saw that i got a b- in french, i definitely deserved something closer to a d-. 3.35 is good in my book. i'm starting to really miss my smithies, but they're not all back yet, so i guess i will just have to wait.

ESCAPE ESCAPE ESCAPE

i need sun because i need to take a photograph because i need to hold what i can see in my hands.

CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO:



THE COOL KIDS



CRYSTAL CASTLES



DAN DEACON



BROADCAST


i'm diggin my new computer. i watched 5 hours of angel today. i'm going to read a whole book tomorrow. i need to plan a summer road trip, can't stay in one place too long.

true love

oh my god, i am crushing so hard on ellen page. she was cuter than michael cera in juno, yes that's right, i said it.

YES

i got the internship. i get to give tours of the museum and design art projects for kids and work around beautiful art all day. could it be any better? i don't think so.

NERVES

this better work out.

whatever happens in the end, i don't want to lose you as my friend.

my hair looks just like natalie's now. my parents are really starting to get on my nerves, but otherwise i have become too comfortable at home to want to go back to smith yet. for some reason the thought of being at smith without the annoying work is weird for me, i don't know if i am wanting to drink and dance and just hang out for that long. i like having my space, doing crafts, driving anywhere at will and sitting in lauren's basement while watching bbc america. today i constructed a bag made of brightly colored sweatshirts and i am going to make friendship bracelets tomorrow. i need to get the chocolate out of my room and my head needs to stop hurting and i wish that i could breathe out of my nose. i need to do big things and i don't like waiting around. i guess that i should go to bed so that i can have the energy tomorrow to edit my resume before the big interview on friday. i wish myself good luck, is that bad luck?

(i've waited long enough, haven't i? being alone isn't so much fun.)