this is where i will be friday through wednesday.

control was so fucking great. it felt important to me. i am only going to listen to joy division for the next week.

rembrandt was a shopaholic.

field trip

we got on a bus with reclining seats. someone said something that i didn't like so we got off. we were trying to sneak away, but john travolta drove by. he was our teacher. we got in the car with john and the beach started to turn into hills. then the car turned into a train. the inside of the train looked just like a plane. gary oldman was sitting next to me, he had a gun. all of a sudden i look down and my pants have this weird glow in the dark tribal pattern on them, and so do gary's pants, and so do gary's son's pants. gary proceeds to hand me a stack of papers, each one of them has my prophecy on it. my prophecy is that i am going to die on a train in europe, which is where we are. everyone starts to panic, thinking that the train is going to crash if i am supposed to die. so now we are in a room. what's going to happen is people are going to take turns shooting and me and other people. i don't know why they are going to shoot at the other people, but there must be a reason. we have to kneel down, and our hands are tied behind our backs. there is a piece of paper blocking the shooter from seeing our exact location, but i don't think that it is going to help much. the bullets are so small i can't even see them. the first shot misses me. the second one hits. it's in my back, near my spine. it really hurts. now i have an iphone in my suddenly free hands and i am calling my father. i can hear him talking, but it is to somebody else, he can't hear me. now i am at my house, and i called 911, but i can't talk anymore, so i hope that there is a locater in my phone so that they know where i am. i manage to drag myself outside, but nobody can see me, or nobody wants to see me. then i wake up and my back really hurts.

Nothing seemed true; I felt surrounded by cardboard scenery which could quickly be removed...

i'm going to change my life.

at first, i didn't think i was going to enjoy it. it felt so separate from the other godard movies that i had seen, and it didn't have the same element of "cool" that i love so much about them. the scene on the road with all of the horns almost made me want to turn it off, but i am glad that i didn't. it started to get really interesting as godard began to critique the social & political state of france in the 1960's. i'm sure a lot of it was lost on me, seeing as how i don't really know what was going on there then, but it was enough to keep me watching. it was far from being as visually engaging as other godard films made in color, but it brought so much situation-wise.


i don't get it. it could be because i am not yet out of college, but i just found most of these guys annoying. watching parker posey is always enjoyable, but she didn't play a big enough part in my opinion. i think what frustrated me most was the multiple scenes where photograph-like still images were on screen, they just looked dumb. so, the criterion collection wants to tell me that this is a great contemporary film, but i can't seem to agree.

true love

at the end of the summer, i will be purchasing this:

home

it was nice to be in vacation for a few days. usually i don't enjoy going upstate because it seems boring in comparison to life at home. but this time, when some weeks i'm working all seven days, it was a breath of fresh air. grandma and i watched lots of television, mom and i went for long walks everyday and i started an interesting photo project in my grandmother's house. today i started "extremely loud & incredibly close" because it seems like phoebe loved it and i need to stop watching tv. i want to go hiking soon and i am excited to go to maine and i want to see lauren.

this is a place where time doesn't seem to progress.

found my moleskin
found a tick on my shirt
found a bee on my shirt
found out that i need to wear bug spray

today's group at the addison was like pulling teeth, i hope tomorrow (my last day) is not as bad. i am realizing that i am starting to fill every week in my schedule for the rest of the summer. i need some nyc and lauren soon. i need the mountains. i need to stop itching my mosquito bites. i really need to start saving money NOW if i want to be in the city next summer. i'm watching a documentary on cindy sherman, and she does not sound like i thought she would. i can't stop listening to julie ruin. i'm not looking forward to being in upstate new york for four days, but it will be nice to take a break from this life.

tomorrow is my last day at the addison.