what am i getting myself into.

i can't decide if confidence is worth it in this case.

keeping it is a secret hurts.

I WANT TO LIVE HERE
http://www.mocp.org/

i want to watch the snow and see the mountains. i didn't think that i ever would, but i want the slow and the quiet for the rest of my life. this morning i woke up with the feeling in my stomach, the one that i get when i am far away from home, but it was hopeful, and seemed to signal that something new and good was going to happen. i still wonder if there is not enough going on inside me. i exist, but fail to be accomplishing much more than the typical and i don't want that. i want to feel bright, and i don't. it's hard to try and be special when everyone around me is so talented. i need to find an inspiration because i am worried that i am not supposed to do what i want to do the most. feeling content is not enough these days, i want more.

finally done with all my shit. off with phoebe to try & save the world tomorrow.

i think that my brain is malfunctioning. there seems to be no activity. i forgot how to stress out. i can't tell if that is a good or bad thing. new orleans in three days, i'm ready for it to change my world and how i live my life. i want to farm this summer.